It's been almost four months since my world has been turned completely upside down. Four months since my whole reason for living changed drastically. Four months since I found true happiness.
Being a mother is the most exquisite adventure anyone can ever be blessed to have.
When Nikolas was first born, I wasn't sure what my life would be like. Honestly, I wasn't even sure if I would be a good mother or if I would like being a mother. It took me a while to settle in but I finally feel comfortable with where I am. My son is the most amazing little person. It's so bizarre how quickly they learn new things. Last month he was barely smiling at people. Today, he laughs, interacts and expresses himself with squeals of delight and kicks of joy. It's only been 30 days since he started really socializing. It absolutely stumps me that something so little and fragile is at the same time so strong and intelligent. The first 2 months with him was stressful. He was jaundiced so he was taken off breast milk. Then he was put back on it. Then taken off again, and so on. We discovered he was also lactose intolerant (not to men. After realizing it was my breast milk that he couldn't properly digest we went through a non stop formula switching fiasco. Finally we found something that worked for him and it's been smooth sailing since.
And now, without further interruptions, I would like you all to meet my babe; Nikolas Alexander!
P.S- By the end of my pregnancy I had totally given up on this blog, if you couldn't tell. I had these huge plans and ideas to take this blog in a really awesome direction, giving readers a view on what it's like to raise a baby at a young age. I wanted to have this as some sort of diary, a memoir, so that I could look back on it years from now. I'm returning to finish what I started :)
I cannot for the life of me believe that the last time I updated I still had 55 days to go. My baby is already going to be a month old! I know, I'm terrible. So much for documenting every little detail of my pregnancy. Truth be told towards the end all I cared about was eating and sleeping much like a hibernating bear. Heres the deets though, I gave birth to my little pumpkin on March 16th, 2011 at 2:45am via Cesarian. Yes he was a bit early. No he was not the giant 8-10lb monster we all thought he would be. My little prince was only 6lbs 15oz. He was absolutely perfect and stole my heart from the second I heard his little cry.
The night he was born started off like any other night. I was laying in bed watching TV stuffing my face before going to sleep when I started having some intense back pains. I told my husband about it and he of course immediately starting freaking out. As they got worst I decided to just go ahead and head off to the hospital but before I left I took a quick shower. On our way to the hospital I thought that I may have overreacted a little and that this was just probably some silly pain that had nothing to do with the baby. When I got to the hospital they hooked me up to their tons of monitors and I kept asking them if they were going to admit me but they were all so vague about it. They had an ultrasound tech come and see how the baby was positioned and of course he was breech.
All of a sudden they starting prepping me for a C-Section and at 2:45am you were born!
I know, I'm so great with going into details but you know, being home with an 'almost' one month old has a way of making sure that you do whatever you need to do quickly and I really wanted to at least update this.
Anyway, being at home with a newborn can be so exhausting on some days. Especially days like today where he does everything he can to not sleep so he's super cranky and when I finally do get him to sleep he decides to wake up within an hour. Oh the joys of parenting.
Other days, he's a perfect angel and the day goes by so smoothly.
I do want to eat his little piggy toes every day though.
Basically, I love being a mother and I never thought I could really love someone so much. Cliche, but true. He's my entire universe and I can't even imagine my life without him. He's the greatest blessing in my life.
& now, mommy duty calls!
I can't believe that in 55 days I'll be holding my little one. This upcoming Saturday is my baby shower and I can't wait, it makes everything just that much more real... Not that the jabs to the ribs aren't.
Tomorrow I have another 3D Ultrasound since the last one he didn't really cooperate. It's not his fault he was trying to sleep and we were bothering him :P
I've been feeling very 'blah' lately. I think I'm totally over being so huge and more then that, I'm over being told how huge I am. People can be so inconsiderate.
I'm super nervous about when the baby is actually born. As selfish as it sounds, right now he's only mine and I don't want to share him with the world. Maybe just his daddy. Other then that, I feel like it's going to be a super pain in the ass with everyone else. Mostly because I don't want unsolicited advice or to hear any ones opinions unless I ask which I know will not be the case. I also don't want to hear any snide remarks about my parenting style or anything of such matters. But alas, the world is full of people who think that just because they had a kid or two that you MUST hear them out and you're ignorant if you don't follow along with whatever their saying. Jeez, I sound bitter.
I'm still praying and hoping that a C-Section is not in my future. I hope I have a smooth delivery. I don't even really want an epidural even though I am meeting with an Anesthesiologist just in case. You never know how pain tolerant you're going to be until you're going through it.
I realize how uncommited I've been to this blog, totally not what I was going for but hey, life goes on. Hopefully as time goes on and the baby is actually here I'll have more to write about besides the usual, 'I'm huge', 'I'm over this', etc.
Until next time!
